Hawaiians had many terms for "friend" that signified varying degrees and types of friendship. Hoaloha (beloved companion), for example, is a general term for friend. Makamaka (face to face) is a friend with whom you share freely. Aikane (probably "dependable") is a close, personal friend of the same sex. Pilialoha (sticky love) is a romantic friend. And here's a great one: 'au ko'i (axe handle), a trusted friend.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said "The only way to have a friend is to be one." But many people have trouble making friends because they don't know how to be one. So here is a set of guidelines to help you remember:
F = Freedom (give up control)
R = Respect (respect your differences)
I = Interest (take an interest in your friend's interests)
E = Equality (treat your friend like an equal)
N = Nurture (nurture your friend's best qualities)
D = Devotion (be loyal and helpful whenever, wherever, and for as long as you can)
The Hawaiians made such an art of this that I'll end with one of their proverbs describing a good friendship:
Pili kau,
pili ho'oilo
(Together in the dry season,
Together in the wet season)
Me ke aloha pumehana i ko'u kini hoaloha - with warm regards to my many friends.
