How do you let go of something that has been so precious to you for so long? How do you feel to have something so close to you and now it's not there? A part of you that's now missing. Empty, blank.
I wished I had a good answer for that. I really don't know....but I knew I had to and I did.
For once I was honest...laid it all out there and so did he. Finally I understood. The things we do, and why we do it, are to protect ourselves. We are not good for each other at this time. So we had to say goodbye. I had to say goodbye. I needed to do that. I know I did. I have to move on. I have to stop hoping that things will be better. I have to think of myself first. Even though my heart really don't want to.
At this moment... I don't know how to feel. Maybe I'm not trying to feel. Maybe I'm just inoring it.
There was closure. No hard feelings. Mature.
And now...I just have to ride out the pain of loss. A sense of grief. With a forward looking goal and hope that things will be better. With faith that things happen for a reason.
This all, however, does not change the fact that I love him and will miss him. I would not change the good times that we had.
So,
Thanks M,
for you
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